Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Be still, my beating vagina.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
