You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think your dad took our porno
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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