We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
