Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
