i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
