I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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