I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
