you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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