Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
