how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
