Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize