I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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