Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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