I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do vagina's smell?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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