But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize