make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
