I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
