I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
