you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
