we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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