waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
