btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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