Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
