Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
