She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
