I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
this will be a night to untag.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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