Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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