it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
