You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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