new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
