He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
