I feel like I'm in dance class right now
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
