You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
