Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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