I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
