Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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(210): View more from Texas

life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

(210): View more from Texas

i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

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(631): View more from New York

if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(773): View more from Illinois

Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me

(847): View more from Illinois

No promises.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.

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