Will you blow on my dice?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts