I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
porn star boner night. come get it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
ttyl tear gas
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
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What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?