her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
do herpes really smell.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
