I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
