Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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