All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
