He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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