Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The beer is more important than you right now.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.