Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.