he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
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I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face