spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
