this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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