I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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