How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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