I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
