break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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