Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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