32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
