did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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