ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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