this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cut my penus on the lid.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
