summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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