Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
