wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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